I'm So Screwed ..literally

Oh dear, oh dear! I saw my autoimmune specialist today and she doesn’t believe this god-awful pain is from tendonitis at all. She thinks it’s my wrecked spine radiating pain into my hip and thigh ..that wrecked spine that I saw a spinal surgeon for .. that surgeon who said I'd probably have to have my spine fused with rods and screws ..how I got the name Weapon X.
So I’m back to the spine center on Friday and I’m sure they’ll send me back to that dreaded house of horrors also known as radiology. This time there will be mucho drugs or no dice. I had night terrors for ages. Fuckin' MRI.
Speaking of terrors—check this shit out.
I try to think of it as titanium bling but it’s just not working for me.   
But just to show you how absurd I really am, the thought of having to poop in a bedpan skeers me worse than this picture.

Comments

[Tom]

I should be the one made to poop in awkward positions after the comment in the post below (a desperate attempt to make you laugh as always). You are in no way absurd, which you know already. Because if you didn't know already, you'd be absurd!

(((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

[Allison]

Man, oh man. Metal screws vs. metal bedpans. Can I send you a hot orderly, at least??

[AdventureGirl]

Awww, Tommy, you always make me laugh.
And Allison, I'd like to trade that hot orderly for a hot home care nurse ..or the hot MRI guy.

[Amanda]

I always thought it might be kinda cool to have metal body parts. Like the Terminator. Although the idea of setting off metal detectors is a little less appealing in this day and age.

[Annika]

I have spent the last three days trying to come up with the world's best "screw loose" joke. I failed to come up with ANY "screw loose" jokes, so I'd just like to apologize for even trying.

[Jim]

Aw, AG, I'm sorry. When I saw this title I was really hoping for tales of a hot new beau and languid afternoons screwing under the ceiling fan.

Do you have a ceiling fan?

Thinking of you.

Jim