AdventureWorld

At Long Last, A Gallery!

I have some really good reasons why it has taking me forfuckingever to get the latest Zambia photos up but those are other posts. Anyways, behold! (looks much more gobsmacking in Slideshow view, of course)

Zambia 2011 Gallery

Stowaway!

There were tree frogs in my tent all the time at Tena Tena; one of them especially loved to hide out in the side zipper compartment of my duffel ..and I let him, of course because I thought it was kinda adorable for an amphibian.

But when I was packing I had to make him get out and zipped up the side pocket to make sure he didn't sneak back in when I wasn't looking. He was about the size of a bottle of eye drops.

Meanwhile, this other teeny-ninesy guys slips into my TSA required liquid carry-on quart sized plastic bag. I didn't even see him until I pulled out my bag in the Virgin Clubhouse in Heathrow as I was going to take a shower ..and he was still alive! That little bag was totally crammed into a side pocket, how he was not smashed to smithereens is a wonder.

To give you an idea of scale for this photo he is sitting in the bag on top of trial sized tubes of creams. Wee bugger!

I didn't know what to do with him so I asked a Virgin staffer if she had any ideas. They let me take him up to their rooftop garden and set him free. He is now an illegal alien living in London.

Lost in Transition

This is the part of these trips that I really hate, hanging around waiting for the last leg of this long-ass journey home. It's not really the waiting as much as it is the frame of mind, the melancholia of a much anticipated adventure now ended but normal life not yet begun. At least physically I'm comfy--at the fabulous Virgin Clubhouse, showered, clean hair, clean clothes. There's nothing better after 16 hours of traveling. Twelve more hours to go until home sweet wee cottage. I have to admit I'll be a happy lil' monkey back in my sweet abode. No work tomorrow to recover from what will be some serious jet lag, then back for a couple of days, then off for the weekend to get fully rejuvenated. I want to be home NOW, dammit!

Homeward Bound

This might have been my best BAZA (Big Ass Zambian Adventure)ever!! Of course, I've only been to Zambia twice but it is hard to imagine anything that could top this. Much more to come and loads of fab photos but now I'm on a layover in J'burg and typing on my iPad is annoying the ever-loving shit outta me ...and I need a sammich.

Honk If You ♥ Alaska

The Plane

The plane was four and a half hours of hell. Crammed in like a can of sardines, four rows of us hapless passengers got to listen to the Loudest Family in The Galaxy, or  perhaps in The Universe. There are still so many unknown galaxies waiting to be discovered so who knows there may a galaxy of aliens who communicate only in sonic booms, then it would be a tie for the title.
The two horrible children and their worse parents were right behind me, of course, which seems only fair since I was most likely the Jonah of this arc. In the first hour, the wretched lot of us exchanged annoyed glances at each other.
By the second hour annoyed had advanced to anguished as we  realized we had an eternity of remaining hours, held captive in this cacophony. Since my noise-canceling headphones couldn't compete with the Loudests I asked a flight attendant if she by chance had any earplugs. She actually scrounged up a pair and brought them to me like a heavent sent angel of mercy.
I scrunched the foam into a small roll and shoved them in as far as my finger could reach. Noise decreased as foam expanded like morphine.
By the last hour my hellmates were making suicide pacts with each other as I sat there with earplugs embedded in my cochlea. Yes, it hurt like a mofo and maybe permanently damaged my hearing but I've come to think of that as a good thing.

Planes, Trains, Automobiles and Authors

Sweet Jesus, Shepherd of Judea! Why have I turned into the Worst Blogger Ever? The other day I was going to write about why I think I haven't been blogging but of course I didn't because I AM the worst blogger ever. Godammit.
Anyhoo, I'm running away to Alaska in a week. Even for me this trip is absurd--I'll spend about as much time getting to my favorite wee wilderness cabin as I will being there. I have to fly to Anchorage late Wednesday night after a bigass bidness meeting. Then catch an early train for a 7 hour trip to Denali, spend the night at the Park entrance, then the next morining meet the Camp Denali boys for the 7 hour trip into camp.
All this for a three night stay. Yes, it is absurd but I already said that. I practice absurdity as if it's a religion. If it was a religion I'd be one devout mofo. Hell, I'd be the Pope. Pope of the Presposterous.
The wild thing about all this is that I tried to book a cabin there months ago for this particular date because I writer I like will be there and he's going to do readings at night around the big cozy fire. He's a great writer and wildlife photographer who just happens, by happy coincidence, to be hot in that not-trying-at-all way.
It's like winning a trifecta, baby. Which is particularly odd since my coincidences are most often NOT of the happy variety.
But months ago when I tried to book it they were all filled up so this could have been the end of this story. But I asked if they would call me if they happened to have a cancellation because I just knew it would happen. I knew I was going to be there--I didn't feel like I might get lucky or think maybe. I knew. Sometimes I just know stuff with an unwavering certainty and it happens, even if the odds really suck.
I'm only going to be in camp for three nights so that's a whole lotta hassle for such a short trip but cavorting with caribou by day and having a sensitive manly man read a beautiful book to me at night sounds too good to pass up. And the timing is perfect because I've been in the middle of a real shitstorm at work. I wasn't in the center of said shitstorm until I had to jump in to save one of my peeps from it. This basically involved throwing myself in front of her like a human shield to keep her from taking a direct hit. She'd already gotten splattered. Plenty.
By the way, does anyone know how to get a shit stain out of a shield?
So, here's who I'm hanging with next week. Seth Kantner Feel free to splatter me with envy.

Wheeeee! A Gallery!

I finally got my Zambia Web Gallery up. You can see it here Zambia Gallery,  It looks best when viewed as a slide show, you can choose your viewing option on the bottom left of the screen. Also, it's two pages which is kinda hard to tell unless you notice the wee arrow above the photo grid. (I should probably shut up already and just let you look at the fucking photos. Bygones!)
I have oodles of emails of people I met in Zambia who wanted me to send them a link to my photos.   I wish my mac gallery gave the option of comments but it doesn't. It would be fun to get comments from some of my game drive mates.
Anyhoo, I also put up an album here on my blog for those dear readers who are too lazy to click on a link but the Web Gallery is way snazzier. Trust me on this.

If Puku Could Talk

"Dude, I think I  just crapped my pants."

Eleven Days, Seven Flights, Eighteen Game Drives, One Canoe Trip and Two Tiger Fish Later

Here I sit in Lusaka waiting for my flight back to J’burg and the long-ass trip home, But wowza! What a trip it was!
Soooooooooooo much fun and I even caught two tigerfish on the Zambezi River even though they’re not really biting this time of year. It was just me and my guide, George, fishing and floating and laughing our asses off down the mighty Zambezi ..and then George made me a marvelous G&T to sip while we watched the sun set and congratulated ourselves on landing the infamously hard-fighting tigerfish.
As you can see I was having no fun at all. Heh